Under Construction - 06/20/09

Where have all our posts gone? Why have we been slowing down?

Simple.

We're moving.

In a week time we will be revealing our new home and new URL. We've decided to make the move to a .com and have already purchased the hosting package. This will allow us to expand our coverage of sports as we have a attracted a slew of talented writers to join the staff.

Can't wait? Neither can we.

Check back for our new URL in exactly a week time when we finally go live. Join us for the big day.

Ochocinco at it again - June 17, 2009

You want chemistry? Forget science. Look no further than Chad
Johnson and Carson Palmer.

Apparently, Ochocinco is set on becoming one with his quarterback in hopes to mend his relationship with Palmer. So instead of simply running post routes for Palmer, Ochocinco will be posted up in the Palmer household this off-season.

Am I the only one that thinks that this would be the best reality TV show since Rob & Big? I sure hope not. MTV jump on it.

In lieu of the news, I have composed a list of things Palmer should watch out for if this venture actually comes to fruition (I'm crossing my fingers and toes).

So, Here's to you Carson.

The Top-10 things you should be watching out for when Chad pulls up in to your driveway with his pimped out U-Haul.

10. Dozens of holes in the front yard because Chad was practicing
his Pylon golfing.

9. Reindeer noises coming from Chad's bedroom. Apparently he's actually going through with his previously proposed Christmas celebration this year.

8. Chad being oh-so protective of you when you and your wife get into an
argument.

"Hey, lay off women. That's my quarterback (cue the tears)."

7. Chad sleeping in when voluntary (and quite possible mandatory) training camp rolls around.

6. Chad watching Brokeback Mountain in hopes of finding some tips on how to bond better with his quarterback.

5. Broken glass all over the house after Chad runs a quick five-and-in right into the kitchen door during dinner. Apparently he thought it'd be better for you to actually throw the butter to him as opposed to simply handing it over.

4. Name-change requests lying around the house. Chad Palmer?

3. The possibility of finding a newly revised list entitled "Did 85 do
everything he could to get with Carson's hot wife" lying around. With
checkmarks all the way down the list.

2. The threat of Chris Henry moving in after you and Chad hook up for
a few touchdowns this season. Talk about scary. Lock your doors. Seriously.

1. Chad having a whole gang of cheerleaders over to practice a
celebration idea.

Hey, there has to be some perks, right?

Validation? June 14, 2009

Kobe Bryant is the most interesting man in the world. Sorry, old guy in the Dos Equis commercials, but the Black Mamba is a living example of a man who lives vicariously through himself. And not even that guy can make a face that’s so vile and ugly that it makes Hedo Turkoglu’s smile almost watchable in HD.

The thing I wonder about the most isn’t what’s going to happen when Kobe wins either tonight or in the next few days, but what the public perception of him is going to be. People either love him or hate him, but unlike other “controversial” athletes like Barry Bonds (mostly hated) or Brett Favre (mostly beloved), Kobe has an almost 50/50 split of fans who love his every move and detractors who latch on to every failure. For someone who was such an integral part of three championships, Kobe sure does have a lot to prove to us. He has to prove he can win as the leader of a team; even though you could make the argument he was just as valuable as Shaquille O’Neal. He has to prove he can win without Shaq; even though Dwyane Wade was the one who had to carry the load for Miami’s lone championship (In a way, this makes Kobe more comparable to Scottie Pippen more than Michael Jordan. Pippen had to prove he could win without MJ; and that’s the glaring thing in his resume that people hold against him, even though Jordan couldn’t even get into the playoffs post-Pippen.). He has to prove he can integrate his teammates and not just be a ballhog; even though as a ballhog, he scored 81 points, the second highest total in NBA history. And he has to prove that he’s just a good, All-American kid who is living out his dreams. But he’s not; and therein lies the reason why he’s such a polarizing figure. He’s not a good person. Inherently. He’s had to work at it.

Kobe Bryant – from the time he was born – was raised to be a basketball star. Kind of in the same way that Earl Woods brought his son Tiger up to be the face of golf, Joe “Jellybean” Bryant raised Kobe to be the next big thing in basketball. What’s so amazing to me is that while Tiger’s rise has been well documented, Kobe’s upbringing remains mostly a mystery to us. Sure, we know that he speaks fluent Italian and (annoyingly) loves soccer, but for the most part, we don’t see too many pictures or videos of kid Kobe. Where are the videos of young Kobe emulating Michael Jordan or the time when he got his first basketball. We have that with most of our athletes readily available on youtube; all we have is what Kobe tells us, and he doesn’t say much that’s interesting. Was it because Jellybean was a vicious taskmaster, which would explain the uneasy relationship father and son have had for most of this decade? We don’t know, and that bothers the living hell out of us. We live in a world where we seemingly have to know every little detail about our superstars even before they were famous, and because Kobe is the only source that’s willing to give out info, that gives him an aura of mystery. He works the people who can’t read between the lines.

The few things that we do know about Kobe is that he’s an insular kid without friends. You could attribute that to him being moved from Italy to the US during his formative years, but have you noticed – like Bill Simmons did on a recent podcast – that Kobe doesn’t have an entourage? Even Dwight Howard, quite possibly the nicest star player since David Robinson, has a group of friends he rolls with. Kobe has his wife and kids (of course, there was the whole Karl Malone thing, but we all know how that turned out) and not that there’s anything wrong with that, but when even his teammates and fellow Olympians make telling remarks about how he’s done such a great job of trying to be one of the “boys,” that’s a telling statement of his ability to get along (or not get along) with people. It took him almost 30 years to figure out how to make friends and be a good teammate? So the guy’s a work in progress.

Speaking of “work,” then there’s the whole “Kobe doing work” thing. If there’s one thing you can never accuse Kobe of, it’s being a slacker. If he has his mind made up about one thing, he’s going to go all out for it, even if that includes quitting, as evidenced by his performance in elimination games over the past few years. Nobody works as hard or quits as hard than Kobe. So when he made it up in his mind that he was going to change the public’s mind about him as a weirdo, he was going to go all out on it. He was going to over-laugh at every joke, hug a teammate a little too long, and make an agonizing documentary with Spike Lee that kind of parodies his current Nike ads with LeBron James. “Hey Kobe, you’re so unstoppable, how unstoppable are you” might as well have been one of the lines in the documentary, it was so contrived. And yet, you see a lot of the old Kobe come out when he yells at Sasha Vujacic or Trevor Ariza when they screw up instead of encouraging them. You can’t work that realness.

Lost in the shuffle in all of this are the Kobe fans and haters, who seemingly work just as hard to love or hate him. Follow a basketball message board sometime (I encourage you not to because I fear for your sanity) and I guarantee on the first page, you will invariably see a topic that either talks about how great Kobe, how terrible Kobe is, how Kobe doesn’t compare to Jordan, how Kobe is better than Jordan, how LeBron has surpassed Kobe, how Kobe is a joke, or how Kobe is something or other. It’s these fervent fans that have built up Kobe to such a unique position in sports and celebrity in general. Every brilliant move on the court is met with both cheers (”wow”) and jeers (”he should have passed it, what a selfish prick”). Every box score is analyzed to prove how good or bad he is in getting his teammates involved. Not even Allen Iverson, he of “practice” fame, doesn’t get worked this bad.

So will things change when Kobe finally wins a ring “on his own?” More than any other team sport, we attribute championships as a way to make someone’s career valid. Dan Marino might have never won a Super Bowl, but he doesn’t nearly get as much crap for it than Charles Barkley. Mike Piazza never produced a World Series win for the Mets, but Patrick Ewing is a running joke of futility in New York. Kobe has three rings; but that doesn’t matter, apparently. I’m guessing that instead of everybody finally shutting up, the “can he get to six” talk will start to commence. It never ends with the Black Mamba, even if he himself wanted it do. We’re doing the work for him.

(Note: this article was written before Game 5 of the NBA Finals. If for some unbelievable reason the Lakers manage to choke this series away, I apologize to the Laker fans for jinxing them… eh, not really.)

- Juan Martinez

Note to the World: Lay off of J-Rod - June 13, 2009

Just wanted to add my two cents on the whole JRod situation.

For those of you who don't know, I am referring to the ordeal regarding a fellow blogger alluding to possible steroid usage by the Phillies' Raul Ibanez. While many are throwing JRod under the bus and deeming him an irresponsible journalist over this article, I can't help but come to his defense on this one.

Irresponsible? Hardly.

When I first read the article, I saw a thorough, well-thought out piece. Throughout his article, JRod outlines a plethora of possibilities that could have attributed to Ibanez's rise in numbers. He nitpicks at the many intracacices of the game that make hitting homeruns an easier task, including ballpark dimensions and opposing pitchers' ERA.

However, with all the fuss that has been made out of this lately, I expected to see a blog along the lines of this:

"Ibanez is a scum. Dude couldn't have hit a ball in Seattle. He's a lousy player and that means he is obviously taking steroids if he is putting up this type of numbers. What n00b."

But in fact, J-Rod never once attacks Ibanez. While he does mention steroids he does it ever so slightly. He tiptoes around it like a ballerina. He begrudgingly mentions it. It seems obvious that he does not want to offend anyone? So much for that one.

Yet, if you peruse the actual online article (scroll to the bottom), you will notice that there are still many antagsonists out there sitting at their computers with nothing better to do than bash J-Rod. Many, i'm guessing, haven't even read the 1,000+ word article.

The reality is, many people will spring from their seats and say that JRod has no right, nor any evidence to say that Ibanez has ever taken steroids in his career, making his article an irresponsible one. But unfortunately for the players in the MLB, given recent history, fans and journalists around the nation have multiple reasons to believe that steroids may attribute to an increase in hitting production. Simply denying steroid use on television, like Ibanez did, isn't the end of the argument either. Just ask A-Rod.

And quite honestly, Ibanez, you made a huge deal out of nothing. Take the test, prove everyone wrong. Whats the fuss? If you truly didn't do it, you should've let actions speak louder than words. There was no need to publically humiliate JRod on TV - going as far as to refer to him as a kid living in his parents basement. Quite the assumption. But given the stereotype of us journalists, I can see how you arrived at such a conclusion.

And given the stereotype of baseball players these days, can't you see how J-Rod arrived at his?

All I Want for Christmas...June 9, 2009

...is a soccer team!

Anyone got $159 million to spare? If so, you could be the new owner of
the Newcastle Magpies, the English soccer team that has recently been
put up for sale by team owner Mike Ashley, according to The Bloomberg
News.

It seems that the current state of the economy and the Magpies' recent
relegation to the Coca-Cola Champions League has left Ashley no choice but to cut his losses and put the team that he bought for 134 million pounds up for sale at a substantial discount.

A quick lesson for you non-soccer fans - yes, I'm talking to you America - to be relegated is to drop from the world's premiere soccer league (hence the name), the English Premier League, to the second-tier Coca Cola Champions League. It is a dishonor given to the three bottom teams in the standings at the end of EPL play, and is a true measure of both bad luck and mediocrity. To put it in perspective for you Yanks, it's like being demoted to the AAA as an entire organization.

Ashley had previously tested his Magpies on the market at 300 million pounds, but failed to find a buyer.

Now I realize, given the economic conditions, it may be difficult to find an interested party, but even in this economy the cheap price seems too good to pass up. Clearly it'll be an uphill climb back into the EPL (and the increased revenue that comes along with it), with players like Michael Owen likely to jump ship following the relegation debacle and the level of competition in the Champions League improving each year. And while It'll probably cost a whole lot more than the actual price tag to get the team back into EPL shape - new uniforms, please! - the team seems like a sound investment that could offer profitable returns given the price tag.

No, those aren't referees. Those are your Newcastle Magpies!

In any case, good luck to all potential buyers.

___________________________________________________________

UPDATE: Potential buyer found. Looks like Santa dropped the ball on this one.

June Contest Announced

Here at Up In the Stands we pride ourselves at bringing you fans closer to the game. And what better way then a contest?

This will be a monthly contest with absolutely no purchase necessary. All it requires is you to read these oh-so-wonderful blogs. The contest is as followed:

Rules: Comment, comment, comment! For every meaningful comment you make (limit one per day), your name will be thrown into a raffle. And when I say meaningful, I don't mean "good article" or "cool." But that doesn't mean that I want a five paragraph essay. Just a simple,thought provoking statement! The more you comment, the better chance you have. So join us Up In the Stands and start winning!

Another and more efficient way of increasing your chances of winning is to submit an article (limit one per day) for publishing! Just make the article sports related and over 250 words, and you will receive five entries into the raffle! It will also be published on the blog! Entries should try to be analysis, but I will also accept certain lists as well (e.g. top 10 best hitters today).

So get busy!

Prize:


Nate Robinson 05 UD Hardcourt Autographed RC!

Now good luck and be sure to spread the word!

Who Hired These Guys? - June 8, 2009

For those of you that missed it this weekend, Roger Federer's straight set sweep of Robin Soderling in the French Open final, which helped Federer complete the tennis grand slam, was more eventful than the score may have indicated.

Thanks in part to an unexpected visitor.

Halfway through the men's final at Roland Garros a spectator jumped onto the court carrying a Barcelona flag and somehow made his way all the way over to Federer. The man then preceeded to place a hat atop Federer's head and was soon after, although it felt like an eternity, apprehended by security.

Wow.

How in the world is it possible that some random dude can jump on the court and touch one of the players? And not just any player, but Roger Federer!

Is security that bad? Maybe the French Open should consider scouring local airports to find some better guards because these guys looked like they could use some help (and we all know the airport could spare a few security guards).

A tip: Just stay away from the Cleveland airport. Apparently people in that area know little about defense these days.

"You think we should stop him?"

Another thing that shocked me was the poise that Federer exuded throughout the whole fiasco. Maybe he was simply dumbfounded, but here is a guy carrying the flag of your arch rival (Rafael Nadal is from Spain) running towards you. How are you so calm!? Protect yourself!

If I'm Derek Jeter, i'm running full sprint in the opposite direction if I see some crazed Red Sox fan carrying a Red Sox flag heading towards me. The same actions should have been taken by Federer. This could have turned out real bad and Federer could have possibly gotten hurt, or worst.

But instead Federer simply stood there and allowed the guy to place the hat on his head, claiming later that he seemed "harmless." Sure, he did. But so do puppies before they bite.

In any case, congratulations to Federer on your first French Open and for finally completing the grand slam. Its quite an accomplishment and well deserved.

And thanks to the mysterious fan who made a straight set tennis final an enjoyable one.